Sunday Tech Brunch 🍞 Weekly Crumbs: Hats, Bots & Bureaucrats

Welcome back to Sunday Tech Brunch, the only newsletter where your scrolling counts as “staying informed” and our commitment to satire is only slightly stronger than our understanding of how AI works (don’t worry, neither does the government).

You can listen to our AI podcast hosts or read on!

This week in the grand dystopian circus we call “reality”:

China wants to read your thoughts (bad news for daydreamers and spreadsheet slackers),
Cloudflare is fighting AI with… more AI (spoiler: everyone loses),
A bunch of people became tech influencers overnight without saying anything original (as is tradition),
And Britain, in a move only Britain could pull off, collectively said “no thank you” to free money from the tax office.
We give up on advertising on this site and go full on Merch peddling instead

Also: flying cars are coming, but instead of “whoosh”, they go “WHAAAAAAAA” — so, bring earplugs. Or just never go outside again.

And yes, the merch is finally here — because what better way to face algorithmic despair than in a t-shirt that says “I Bought This After…”
It’s soft. It’s organic. It’s the uniform for the end of times.

Right then. Buckle up. It’s loud, weird, and sponsored by vibes. Let’s get into it.

Reading Minds With Hats: Because Why Not

China’s latest wearable tech isn’t a smart watch or glasses—it’s a hat that reads your mind.

Yes, finally, a hat that knows you’re pretending to work.
The future is here, and it’s judging you. Loudly. From your own scalp.

📡 Read all about the mind-reading headwear

🤖 Cloudflare Uses AI To Stop AI From Using AI To Be AI

Cloudflare’s new solution to stop AI bots from scraping your content?
More AI.

It’s 2025, where solving any problem just means adding more of the problem to the problem until you can’t see the problem anymore.

🌀 Yes, this is real

🎤 How To Be a Tech Influencer Without Actually Doing Anything

Want to become the next big tech voice without ever inventing, coding, or saying anything remotely useful?

Of course you do.

Our step-by-step guide walks you through the performative dance of LinkedIn flexing, subtle backstabbing, and becoming a human buzzword generator.

👔 Influence without effort

🏙️ Our Blade Runner Future Will Be… Noisy

Flying cars are coming, and they’re bringing noise.

Turns out those slick, neon-lit utopias forget to mention that hovercrafts sound like air fryers being punched.

🚁 Read why your cyberpunk dreams will come with tinnitus

💷 HMRC Accidentally Gave Away Free Money – Britain Refused It

The new tax year is almost upon us and we thought how can we inform people about tax and make it fun. So we tried, but also speak to an accountant.

In an unprecedented event, HMRC tried to give the nation free money.
Brits everywhere responded with suspicion, mild panic, and emotional repression.

🐍 Trust no one, not even your tax overlords

🛍️ Merch Drop! Because Wearing Existential Dread is Fashion Now

New in the Not Enough Bread store:

“I Bought This After…” tee – ironically accurate.
“NSFW – EAT SLEEP WORK REPEAT ” tee – block the rays and the haters.
“NFFW – Workspotting” tee – Inspired by an iconic film. Perfect for wearing on a train.
Framed posters – for when you want to look thoughtful but are actually just tired. NSFZ (Not Safe For Zoom Calls)

Support indie satire. Confuse your co-workers. Mugs are also available.
📦 Shop here before it becomes NFT-only

That’s all for this week.
Keep your mind unread, your hovercar grounded, and your influence entirely unearned.

With love and artificial flour,
The Not Enough Bread Team